zan: (Basic: I Hate You)
And tonight, the role of Hanschen will be played by Tom Felton.
zan: (Atlantis: Cookie Slut)
There are days when school can stress you out. Oh, who am I kidding. There are entire semesters when school can stress you out. But today was one of the ones that had me neurotic for about two hours.

There are also days when the wrong person says the wrong thing and you snap. As someone has said tonight, I never snap. I did tonight.

Then there are people who just make the day better.

[ profile] dreamsofstars, [ profile] pureyaoi, [ profile] nystana, and [ profile] frogmajick, you have made my bad day into something bearable. I love you guys.

*Uses the icon just for [ profile] frogmajick*
zan: (Basic: Rose)
I haven't had time to do it mostly because I suck at meme's and haven't had time for anything right now (stupid papers).

I do want to say that I love all of you even if I don't always say it. You guys always make my day better. Especially when I get things like this right when I need a little cheering up. You guys rock. Seriously.
zan: (Other: Gemini)
I HAVE A COMPUTER! And I have lack of sleep because I need to finish Gulliver's Travels. Whoops?

So: Random coincidence of the day. When I went to the bus, I ended up talking to this girl from my Linguistics class. She's pretty recognizable because of her blue hair and I see her pretty much every time I go to the bus. I end up finding out that I'm not the only non-youngster in the class (25, wow, old) and that she's in the English Honors college, too. Now comes the funny part.

Once I get my computer up and running, I open my e-mail and let it download the gazillion e-mails that have been waiting for me. One of them is a friends request for Facebook from 'Jenny'. Huh, I think. Do I know a Jenny? I click on it and lo and behold, it's the girl I talked to on the bus. And even weirder? Her birthday? 6/19. For those of you who don't know? That's my birthday.

Cue the Twilight Zone theme.
zan: (Default)
I'm pretty aware that I'm one of the only people that hasn't commented on Natalie's death. There's a good reason for it, too. I tend to process death a lot longer than most people, since I've lost most of my family during the last ten years. It just doesn't hit me until days or even weeks later. Even now, it seems a little surreal.

But I will say this. She will be missed. I'll always have fond memories of playing with her and talking to her.

To those of you I talk to on a regular basis, I'm sure you know I adore you, but just let me reiterate it.

To those of you I don't, anymore, but did ([ profile] technosage and [ profile] just_katarin among others), know that I still think of you fondly.

And to all of you that I haven't talked to? Well, you still get hugs.
zan: (Heroes - Suicidal Hero)

*Sings off-tune to you*
zan: (Default)
Life is so confusing. At one point, I hate her. And now we seem to be fine. I don't know anymore. I want this all to go away. Maybe I won't even be there next semester. Take a whole year off. I want to. God knows, I want to.

I just want the conflict to end. At the end of the day, I want to curl up next to someone, even if it's not someone I'm attracted to, and relax. Just be myself. And I can't. Maybe.. Maybe I'll just stay out of it. I'll not go to school for a semester, again. Mention I need another break. I'll go to a Winter course. But I need time for me. To get my life in order. To not have to worry about what's next.


May. 9th, 2003 01:07 pm
zan: (Default)
So, I think I noticed this before, but it's only recently sunk in. The reason for my end-of-the-semester slump. I used to think it was because of finals and such, but I'm not in school this semester. I think I've just realized how much I depend on people. On everyone, really. It's why I always seem so clingy. Gets me into trouble a lot. Because even if I'm not attracted to a certain person, it seems that way because I'm all over them. Because I generally want hugs and I just like being in contact with someone.

And I do that emotionally, too. People I know I shouldn't invest my emotions in get them, anyway. Whether it's a friend, a non-friend, or a romantic interest. Look at George and Shell. I was practically in their laps yesterday. All because I was upset because everyone's leaving. There's something wrong with that. They may have put up with me, but I bet I didn't help them out much.

:Sigh: I hate life, sometimes.
zan: (Default)
So why is George talking to me on Merissa's behalf? I mean, as far as I know, things were fine. I haven't talked to her or seen her since last Tuesday. And things seemed fine then. So what's changed? Why does she have me blocked? Why isn't she talking to me herself? Why?


Feb. 21st, 2003 09:29 pm
zan: (Default)
So, I had my first good cry in a long time in the Cowden computer lab. I have never had anyone belittle me like Kris did. In all my years of teasing, no one got to me like he did. I've trusted all of my friends not to betray me like he did. I've trusted them not to hurt me, as only they could. And now, I'm not sure, except for three of them, who I can trust. Because I thought that Kris would always be there and wouldn't do something like that. And I'm wrong. And now I'm going to be paranoid every single time I'm around people that aren't Tina, Angela, or George.
zan: (Default)
Fuck this. Kris admitted as much that he thinks I'm a child. And he said other people did, too. I wonder who those "other people" are. Morgan, definitely. Kara, possibly. Sometimes I wonder whether Devin thinks that, too.

Great. Now Kris is going to have me very insecure. And I feel like going into the Cowden MPC for a bit and sobbing. Perhaps I'll do that.

December 2014

21 222324252627

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit