(no subject)
Jul. 28th, 2009 04:01 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zanIf you'd asked me two and a half years ago, what I'd be doing right now, it wouldn't have come close to what I'm actually doing.
That's not quite true. I would have said one thing - what I'm actually doing - and meant something else completely. I would have meant that I would be likely still stuck in telemarketing positions. Crappy office jobs that always seem to screw me over in one way or another. Day after day of mindless repetition where all I want to do is go home and sleep and I have little motivation or interest in anything beyond the day-to-day.
Two years and four months ago, I found out I was losing my job. Not because of anything I did, but just because they were closing the center in Tucson. By a miracle I'm still in shock about, I had managed to clear off most of my debt and had just enough money to apply for the summer session. Not only that, I was able to get financial aid. Those were a long few months.
Honestly, I was scared out of my wits the first time I went to class and thereafter for a few weeks. I'd completely bombed on the last college experience. Was I going to do it again? To some degree, I can answer that with a yes. I'm a slacker. I get the assignments done at the last possible moment and sometimes that leads to a slightly lower grade than I might otherwise get. I can, however, compare that with my previous experience, where I would skip classes for half the semester and then go in once or twice just because I felt like I should. I always started with the best of intentions until a lack of motivation caused me to miss a class. And then two. And then more. By that point, it was far too late to catch up.
Now? Sure I'm scared. I'm overwhelmed with the idea that I'm going to have to read upwards of twenty novels over the course of a semester and who knows how many handouts. With the fact that the damned Lit Theory book I so dreaded last semester is required in one class and recommended for another one. That I not only have to learn Spanish (I still haven't particularly studied or caught up this summer) but Old English as well.
But hey. I got a 3.5 GPA last semester. This time around, I can at least make that a 3.75, right?
That's not quite true. I would have said one thing - what I'm actually doing - and meant something else completely. I would have meant that I would be likely still stuck in telemarketing positions. Crappy office jobs that always seem to screw me over in one way or another. Day after day of mindless repetition where all I want to do is go home and sleep and I have little motivation or interest in anything beyond the day-to-day.
Two years and four months ago, I found out I was losing my job. Not because of anything I did, but just because they were closing the center in Tucson. By a miracle I'm still in shock about, I had managed to clear off most of my debt and had just enough money to apply for the summer session. Not only that, I was able to get financial aid. Those were a long few months.
Honestly, I was scared out of my wits the first time I went to class and thereafter for a few weeks. I'd completely bombed on the last college experience. Was I going to do it again? To some degree, I can answer that with a yes. I'm a slacker. I get the assignments done at the last possible moment and sometimes that leads to a slightly lower grade than I might otherwise get. I can, however, compare that with my previous experience, where I would skip classes for half the semester and then go in once or twice just because I felt like I should. I always started with the best of intentions until a lack of motivation caused me to miss a class. And then two. And then more. By that point, it was far too late to catch up.
Now? Sure I'm scared. I'm overwhelmed with the idea that I'm going to have to read upwards of twenty novels over the course of a semester and who knows how many handouts. With the fact that the damned Lit Theory book I so dreaded last semester is required in one class and recommended for another one. That I not only have to learn Spanish (I still haven't particularly studied or caught up this summer) but Old English as well.
But hey. I got a 3.5 GPA last semester. This time around, I can at least make that a 3.75, right?
